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Diane Flynn Keith...

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If You Don’t A-S-K, You Don’t G-E-T

When my kids were about 3 and 5, we had a play date with a friend and her two children at our home – on the day after Valentine’s Day.

Once the kids were happily playing with foam blocks, I asked her what she had done for Valentine’s Day. She burst into tears! Her husband had given her a box of chocolates when he knew she was trying to watch her weight. “Why didn’t he bring me flowers?” she sobbed. They had a big fight and she reminded him of all the times when he had disappointed her.

I said, “Did he know you wanted flowers?” She stopped crying and said, “What do you mean?” I asked, “Did you tell him that you wanted flowers and not chocolate for Valentine’s Day?” She stammered, “Well, well, no – but he should have known!”

She looked around the room and spotted a bouquet of red carnations on my dining room table. “Look! Your husband gave you flowers!” I explained that two days before Valentine’s Day I told my husband that fresh, cut flowers brighten my home and heart – and that nothing makes me happier than fresh flowers. So, naturally, he brought flowers to his Valentine (me).

My friend was puzzled by the idea of asking for the gift you want. She had the romantic notion that if her husband truly loved her, he should be able to intuit what would make her happy. As we chatted and filled sippy cups with apple juice, she wondered if that expectation had been unfair. Her spirits brightened as she resolved to ask (or at least drop lots of helpful hints) in order to get what she wanted in the future.

Sometimes you just have to A-S-K, in order to G-E-T.

Give your little ones a hug for me,

Diane Flynn Keith
Editor & Founder, UniversalPreschool.com

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